“Holiness, Stay Strong, Will You Provide?” Questions of the Heart

So, I worked tonight. And when I got off work, I wept. I wept because it was a hard day, because I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it, because I did finish, and I finished strong, because I made it through. And then I wept because I realized that I was carrying a weight, a burden of all the ways I had not performed well throughout the day. I wept because I was carrying the burden of all the times I had to strive to be the person, the character, the face, that I imagined I had to be, instead of being me. I wept because I strive.  I performed because I must. I realized that my heart still doesn’t believe in a Heavenly Father who will care about me or celebrate me, even when I suck. I wept because I am dealing with the same issues I have always had, because the enemy is a tricky SOB who gets in on technicalities. (What a jerk.) I wept because my head knows but my heart doesn’t. I wept because my heart is in distress. Its in Critical Care. I want my heart to be loved. I want my soul to be whole. Can you come and break down my walls, snuggle with my little unhealed heart, and love me back to life? Again? Daddy God, change my vision, my sight, to only reflect you, your Glory, your Power, your unyielding Love. You are worth it all. You are beautiful. You are right. ALWAYS. I love you. Goodnight.

Abba Papa:

“I will love you because I’ve always loved you. Because you are my heart, my jewel, my crown. You are the one I’ve redeemed and set free. I am the Redeemer for you, you alone. Come, let me embrace you and draw you, surround you with my Goodness and Innocence. My Peace surpasses all understanding. Leaps over all your fences. Your hope is in Me, provider and supplier of your strength. Renewing is on the way. Even now you may not perceive such a thing but your hopes and fears are not My hopes and fears. My Attention is not where you think it is. Be encouraged and set free in all things. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Freedom. You are my Joy and my Delight. I delight in being with you always. I will finish My Good Work in you. You are not alone, you are never alone. Let My Heart adorn you, allure you, seduce you out of the Land of Hardships and Trials. You are Mine forever more. Hardships won’t be hard anymore. Thay will be ships, carrying you to Greater Territory and Higher Land. You are Mine, forever more. No coercion needed. S**t will be there, you won’t see it. Or be in it. All eyes on Me. My Goodness guides on the darkest territory, in the slimiest places. Come little heart, I will Love you, Love on you. I will Protect and Provide your every need and desire. You are mine. You are answered and heard.”

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